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you light up my world like nobody else // tmi tuesday #14

Greetings! Did you miss me? I finally don’t have the plague, and I’m writing this early because I’m working all day tomorrow. Yes, I’ve figured that I’ll actually use some of the nifty functions of WordPress.

This week’s TMI Tuesday is super hot and I can’t stop fantasizing. I wish I had toys with me right now. And that my partner could have phone sex. At least I can anticipate that he’ll have a good masturbation session when he reads this.

1. I enjoy the idea that my partner wants to inflict pain on me that:
a. makes me curious
b. is titillating and sexually arousing
c. that leaves me screaming and/or crying because that’s the way I like it

All of the above. A in the sense that I like a surprise spanking or other surprising pain that makes me anticipate the next act or wonder what my partner will do next. I am completely turned on by roughness within limits, so B is always on the table. And C is not so much crying, but I do like it when it hurts enough to make me cry out and refocus my attention. I’m especially fond of nipple play (though I have not yet had success with nipple clamps, since all they seem to do is fall off).

2. Do you like being forced to dress or act in a way that is humiliating? If yes, please describe. If no, why not?

Yes, but of course within limits, and this is because I enjoy power play. I love giving my partner power over me, both because it’s an incredible turn-on and because I’m comfortable with it because I trust him, which itself is fun. I love begging. So I have a deeply exciting and detailed fantasy of being an obliging work subordinate (usually a secretary, even though I’m grossly overqualified) who is given very specific instructions on how to dress and act for my boss (my partner). Not to divulge all the details, but in this fantasy my required dress code is tall heels, lace panties, a skirt, an unlined lace bra, and a button-down blouse. On Fridays I’m required to forgo the panties. When my boss has to work late I’m required to stay and lie naked on his couch, waiting to service him without complaint if he so requires. If he has to come in early I have to be there even before he is, ready to serve him tea or coffee in a skimpy French maid uniform – and ready to do anything else he asks of me. When he has a phone meeting I must ride him at his desk – silently, of course. And so on.

I also frequently indulge in a student-teacher fantasy, in which I beg for grades. Which is silly, since I would never need to do it, but incredibly hot.

I also like to be told what to say; one of my favorites is being told to say how much I want my partner and how I would do anything to have him fuck me.

But you already knew I was a huge submissive anyway.

3. Do you like seeing bruises, scars, or marks that were caused during sex on either you or your partner? What kind of marks?

Not so much bruises or scars (I get those from things like martial arts and dance), but I do like hickeys. And he kind of likes it when I dig my nails in, so I could probably get into seeing some scratch marks on his back. Or ass.

4. Would you like to be forced to do sexual things that you don’t necessarily like to do? Yes or No.

Depends, but in a way that’s true of all sex. If I’m with someone I don’t really like, then I set the boundaries and absolutely refuse to do things. One of the things that I have refused to do in the past is speak in a foreign language during sex. However, I frequently tell my partner how much I enjoy it when he orders me to say things or repeat what he says, so it’s not so much the act of being forced to say things, but rather who is forcing me to do them. I don’t like being on top (mostly because I feel less sexy when I’m on top) and it seems a little counter-intuitive to be forced to be on top, but I occasionally choose to be on top because I know my partner loves it, and I wouldn’t mind being forced into that position. (Actually, now I’m thinking about it. I’m kind of turned on.) I guess what it comes down to is that what I like is the act of being “forced” by someone I trust, so the fact that generally I wouldn’t like to do the act becomes moot.

5. Do you want to be forced to watch your lover with someone else? Yes, No or It depends.

It depends. In hypothetical terms I feel like it could be a huge turn-on, especially since I already love power play and this would just be an incredible statement of power. I could conceivably really enjoy my partner making me watch him with someone else, telling me how much I would have to do to satisfy him, or as an act of teasing me and making me beg him. (He would never do this, I’m sure, but we’re talking in hypotheticals.) On the other hand, I’m incredibly jealous and sensitive when it comes to the way I perceive my relationships with people I feel enough for to trust to the level where this would even be a possibility. I can’t stand the thought of my partner being with someone else because he loves them more than he loves me. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach and angry. So I suppose that if I could calm down enough to separate love from sex (which I do believe is possible), then I could enjoy it.

6. What dirty (sometimes inappropriate) things do you like to say to your sexual partner?

The usual? In all honesty I’m not convinced I’m very good at the dirty talk (though he is). I can be quite a tease and enjoy sexting while he’s at work (I try not to do this too often. Really). Beyond constantly affirming how good he is, I often outline pretty specific fantasies, make coy remarks about sucking him off, and beg him to fuck me. I think my favorite is reminding him that I belong to him, and that I would do anything to please him. Anything.

Bonus: Finish this statement: I like being powerful in bed because __________ .

Then everybody has a good time!

(Image thanks to sexy-yetclassy on Tumblr. Click on the image to visit!)

it’s always darkest before the dawn // contest

Whoa! Sorry for the huge delay between posts! Everything has just caught up with my very quickly. I’m submitting a major application next week that has me doing work at my computer almost nonstop (I am definitely going to need that massage in a couple of weeks. Gods I have such a huge crush on the guy that does my massages) and Tuesday was primary election day in California (which is a rant for a different day and a different blog).

Anyone who reads this enough or has been (un)lucky enough to hear my thoughts on the subject knows that I have a deep and wide submissive side. There are a number of different ways to look at this. With one partner it was because I loved the feeling that he was so much more experienced than I was. Having him tell me what to do made me feel, for lack of a better word, useful, and I love being told I’m a quick learner.

Yes, I admit to being a little lazy, especially when my partner isn’t very stimulating. I have done that in the past… just kind of let my partner do whatever he wanted because I really wasn’t that interested. I tried to take control and get him to do what I wanted (or at least something that would be stimulating enough to get me into it) in the form of a little roughness and spanking, but sadly that didn’t go anywhere. He actually said it was too much work for him, so I gave up.

On the sex and the relationship, in case anyone was wondering.

With my current partner I love being submissive in all the best ways (in my opinion). I love having him tell me what to do so I can please him. It turns me on incredibly to know that it’s good for him. I also like relinquishing control to him. He treats me like a princess all the time; I kind of like it when he takes control and does rough, sexy things to me. Making me do what he wants, instead of him bending to my will, gets me so hot. I think it’s that I trust him, so being completely submissive to him is incredibly intimate.

There’s a limit on our submissive/dominant relationship (he admitted to me early on that he doesn’t really have a dominant kind of personality, so it’s super sweet that he does it just for me), but the extents to which we take it are just right for us. Personally, I think we’re both fans of a scenario that involves bedposts and ties. Ties that I’ve bought him as presents (and taken some naughty pictures of!). So far we mostly focus on tying up hands, since it’s a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, but I’m pretty turned on by the thought of ankle cuffs too. Being completely open and exposed for my partner to do with as he wants? Don’t tell me that’s not hot.

Luckily for those like me who are itching to try out new things, Adriana at Of Sex and Love is giving away a beginner’s bondage kit thanks to MyPleasure! It includes a nice, full set of beginner toys, including adorable ankle and wrist cuffs with tethers. They have heart rings, which reminds you that while what you’re doing may be hot and naughty, you’re doing it because you love your partner~ (Or at least have strong feelings of trust for them.) Plus there’s a pretty sweet looking blindfold, which I have not experimented with but now definitely want to.

There are a lot of different ways to enter, none of which require Facebook login! Hooray! Enter by clicking on the link above. Good luck!

(Image courtesy of lust-sex-love on Tumblr. Click on the image to visit!)