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i’m getting more open hearted // tmi tuesday #24

Hello everyone! Things have changed a lot since my last post in – OH GODS – MAY, so I’m not around nearly as much as I would like to be. I did hear that WordPress may not be the home I want for my blog, so if anyone has any knowledge or so forth to help me move the blog, I’d be much obliged! The next step for me is to collect all my disposable income that I’ve squirreled away over the past couple of months and buy a new laptop to carry to work and while I’m on the go. I’d like to be more active on Twitter as well again, but for now, work and the ridiculous commute is keeping me pretty busy. After the laptop comes a new apartment!

TMI Tuesday stole the EXACT image I was going to use once I saw the questions! This week is a fun amalgamation of questions sort-of-kind-of related to porn.

1. What sex act have you seen in porn videos/films and have never done but want to do? (Describe act or post a link)

From http://www.virtualsin.wordpress.com

So actually, most of the porn I’ve watched has been for educational purposes. And I mean that literally – I watched it for a class. As a result, I don’t really remember any specific acts that I would want to do. I suppose some more aggressive bondage? Maybe? Believe me, I’ve said my fair share of ridiculous, cheesy, porn-esque lines, so we can cross that off the list.

Maybe just something as simple as making out against a recently shut door, or being picked up, carried, and dumped on a bed to be ravished 😀

I do fantasize about roleplaying, with surprising frequency. I’m not sure I’d be terribly good at it, but I suppose it’d be nice to at least try just to see.
2. A lot of porn is remakes of old ideas. It’s difficult to be creative in porn because it’s all basically about the same thing. Everyone is starved for ideas, and if some new idea is successful, it’s immediately swamped by knock-offs. Do you have an idea for something even a little bit new in porn?

From https://hersecretlibrary.wordpress.com

No, I pretty literally do not. I also don’t know that I’ve seen enough porn to know what would be considered “original.” This kind of disappoints me, since I enjoy reading, critiquing, and reviewing some forms of erotica, so it’d be nice to be more well-versed in more traditional forms of pornographic media.
3. Whilst ideally we’d all like to say our partner provides us with the best orgasms, what’s really making you see stars?
a) masturbation
b) sex toys
c) my partner(s)

All of the above (:

4. Have you ever ‘cheated’ on your partner, and did they know/find out? Would you want someone to tell you if your partner was ‘cheating’? Define what you consider ‘cheating’.

I really think these questions should be answered in reverse order. I suppose I would define cheating as engaging in behaviors that were not openly shared out of a sense of guilt or propriety. I don’t think the actions need to be reserved to sexual behaviors, and could include other expressions of intimacy and desire. I also believe the relationship that you are “cheating” on should be established as an exclusive and non-casual one. Now, obviously, fantasizing should not be considered cheating, nor anything that is openly expressed or agreed upon. I think the reasons people are so hurt by what they perceive as “cheating” are related to the security of the relationship. We sense that if our partner cheats on us, we are: not _____ enough for them or unloved. I think behaviors that don’t compromise a relationship are acceptable. In the case of a relationship that is open to compromise – for example, a relationship whose members have found the relationship lacking in some way – the relationship should be ended, for the sake of those involved. I realize that definition is a bit vague, but it is hard to simply define cheating as if there is a single standard against which to compare all situations we might label with “cheating.”

I would want someone to tell me. I’m hardly subtle in my demonstration of interest and devotion to someone – when I like someone, EVERYONE knows. So I think it’d actually be quite frustrating for everyone to know how enamored I was with someone who didn’t deserve my devotion. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to hear it from just some random person. Just because the truth is out there doesn’t mean I’ll be happier knowing it – I can attest to the fact that, in cases of deep love and caring, I would rather prolong the illusion until it literally comes crashing down around me and rips my heart apart. Then I spend months – years, possibly – pining and being sad and crying myself to sleep.

I’ve never cheated on a partner. I’ve literally never had a partner to cheat on.

Bonus: Give us 2-3 erotic paragraphs incorporating the following words in your story(ette): Magnificent, Nero, Licks, Hard, Nipples. (And no, you can’t use them all in one sentence.)

Sorry all – I know you were hoping to read some actual fictional prose from me, but it’s terribly late and I need to get to bed. Maybe next time!

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she can’t remember a time when she felt needed // tmi tuesday #23

Happy Tuesday again! Hopefully this week I will have time to go around reading other people’s responses… I knew summer would be busy, just didn’t expect it to start so early! In the meantime, y’all can enjoy my responses to this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss – No… It’s not that I regret it, I just don’t really remember it. I didn’t find it memorable or earth-moving or anything. I think at the time it was a big deal and I told myself I would remember it, but I don’t.
I Miss My First Love – No. At least, I don’t think so. When I think about on the first person I loved (like, know deep in my heart I loved, not just dated), I don’t really feel anything. If anything there’s still some lingering resentment. At times I miss the people we used to be and the way we used to be, but that feeling is fleeting. The opposite of love is indifference, after all.
I Married My First Love – No. Thanks for rubbing it in my face that I’m not married and nowhere close. That makes me feel good inside. At least I don’t wish I were married to my first love now.
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me – Yes. And if you answer anything else I will hate you.

2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?

Honestly not something I’ve really thought about. I don’t really have any evidence that one is better than the other; the way I always think of it is that I don’t know that polyamory doesn’t work. I used to think that, though logically polyamory made sense, emotionally I was entirely devoted to one person. After a while that sense faded – when you get burned enough times (and in my case it didn’t even take that many times), you stop trusting anyone who shows interest in you. They’ll sleep with your best friend, they’ll tell you you’re not Christian enough, they’ll tell you they’re married, they’ll find someone taller and prettier and skinnier. Why devote yourself so completely to someone who is more likely to hurt you than to protect you? And even when I was emotionally tied to one person, there was never another person to give any attention to – I simply wasn’t interested. Whether I wasn’t interested because I’m inherently monoamorous or because I convinced myself I was or because I just really didn’t find anyone who met my standards because I’m incredibly picky is uncertain, of course, but the point is that I still don’t know that either is better than the other and the way I should live my life.

3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

To be honest, I’d probably perk up at the promise of sex, but I should probably at least try to get as much as I could out of the situation.

4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?

Depends. I never really went into this with most of my partners, but my last one would not have minded at all.

5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner

While it’s true I love trying new things, my partner strongly influences the type of sex we have. Guys tend to want to start out playful and tame – and let’s be honest, so do I until I know them better and trust them more. But unfortunately, most of my partnerships end quite early. Either I don’t enjoy the sex, they don’t enjoy the sex, or I lose interest in them outside of the sex. The only partner I’ve been with long enough to do more than “boring” stuff loved outfits and toys, and I loved sharing with him because I knew he wouldn’t complain or judge me. I’m sure I did a few things that took him by surprise, and most of them he liked, but we also had sort of tried and true methods for having good sex that we were loathe to not do. Why fix something that’s not broken, right?

Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.

The best? I’ve never thought about that. I sort of remember really good ones, but I’ve never sat and compared them. All my really good ones involved either phone sex or Internet sex because… well, call it cheating, but it was like guided masturbation. Once it was “awww poor thing you’re so sick here let’s cuddle oh and now you’re thinking about groping me.” One week we called each other early in the morning before work to have wake-up phone sex. A couple of times we had the opposite – just-home-from-work phone sex. I also had some very good hotel room Internet sex that involved sexy voicemails being left while the hotel staff slid my bill under the door of my room. And he’s sent me some very nice pictures and left me some very nice voicemails that I’m always going back to whenever I’m in the mood – one of my favorite things about my iPhone is that I can scroll down and pick out the voicemail message I want to listen to 😀

(This week’s image from sexy-yetclassy on Tumblr. Click the image to visit!)

you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff // tmi tuesday #22

Hello again! Things have been picking up at work lately and I’ve started to have less and less time to sit at the computer. Soon summer will be here and I won’t have any time at all!

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions are about masturbation! Because it’s that time of year again!

1. My favorite place to masturbate is ________ ?

Boring: the bed. It’s just more comfortable than anyplace else. There’s a mattress, and pillows, and sheets, and all my toys are right there…

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?

“In public”? Not sure what that means. I did stop in a mall parking lot once while having phone sex. (He knew I was driving, but then as soon as I got off the freeway I was in a mall parking lot with my We-Vibe Tango.) The mall was open, but it wasn’t like people were watching or anything.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?

Well, yes, because, phone sex. But I also like watching him masturbate. I think it’s sexy, and I like to know what he’s thinking while he’s doing it.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?

This morning! My first time this month! Yay me! It was raining and I used like five different toys.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?

No ):

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?

Yes. Especially partners I feel very close to or really enjoy having sex with.

Bonus: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?

No ): Although to be fair, it’s not very interesting. I’m sort of low-key and more focused on enjoying the process, rather than being really active or overt.

a schoolboy yawns // tmi tuesday #10

So excited! I love National Masturbation Month! I’m definitely getting myself at least one new toy to celebrate!

All of this week’s TMI Tuesday questions are about masturbating >:)

1. How often do you masturbate? On average over the course of a year, maybe twice a week. I go through swings in activity; sometimes I can go as often as five days a week, other times I can go almost two weeks. Just depends on how I feel, I guess.

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month? Nothing, really ): Masturbating is not like, special in May. I will probably get at least one new toy to celebrate, but that’s not out of the ordinary either, now that I think about it.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. Not really, it’s boring.
d. No, it’s a turn off.
e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

Hell yes A. (And a little bit of E.)

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. No, it’s embarrassing.
d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

D, but I really think we’d both prefer it if he got to join in before long anyway.

5. Mutual masturbation? Yea or Nay?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not?

Probably not. I’d rather not go by myself, plus I have a tango class on Sunday nights. I’m already excited because the dance class gets me out of having to go to an engagement party.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating?

My guess is that if I can go a week or more without masturbating, that’s a no.

Oh! And maybe help me out with this? Pretty please?

(Image originally posted by theclassyshit on Tumblr. Click on the image to go there!)