Category Archives: bloggers

it’s always darkest before the dawn // contest

Whoa! Sorry for the huge delay between posts! Everything has just caught up with my very quickly. I’m submitting a major application next week that has me doing work at my computer almost nonstop (I am definitely going to need that massage in a couple of weeks. Gods I have such a huge crush on the guy that does my massages) and Tuesday was primary election day in California (which is a rant for a different day and a different blog).

Anyone who reads this enough or has been (un)lucky enough to hear my thoughts on the subject knows that I have a deep and wide submissive side. There are a number of different ways to look at this. With one partner it was because I loved the feeling that he was so much more experienced than I was. Having him tell me what to do made me feel, for lack of a better word, useful, and I love being told I’m a quick learner.

Yes, I admit to being a little lazy, especially when my partner isn’t very stimulating. I have done that in the past… just kind of let my partner do whatever he wanted because I really wasn’t that interested. I tried to take control and get him to do what I wanted (or at least something that would be stimulating enough to get me into it) in the form of a little roughness and spanking, but sadly that didn’t go anywhere. He actually said it was too much work for him, so I gave up.

On the sex and the relationship, in case anyone was wondering.

With my current partner I love being submissive in all the best ways (in my opinion). I love having him tell me what to do so I can please him. It turns me on incredibly to know that it’s good for him. I also like relinquishing control to him. He treats me like a princess all the time; I kind of like it when he takes control and does rough, sexy things to me. Making me do what he wants, instead of him bending to my will, gets me so hot. I think it’s that I trust him, so being completely submissive to him is incredibly intimate.

There’s a limit on our submissive/dominant relationship (he admitted to me early on that he doesn’t really have a dominant kind of personality, so it’s super sweet that he does it just for me), but the extents to which we take it are just right for us. Personally, I think we’re both fans of a scenario that involves bedposts and ties. Ties that I’ve bought him as presents (and taken some naughty pictures of!). So far we mostly focus on tying up hands, since it’s a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, but I’m pretty turned on by the thought of ankle cuffs too. Being completely open and exposed for my partner to do with as he wants? Don’t tell me that’s not hot.

Luckily for those like me who are itching to try out new things, Adriana at Of Sex and Love is giving away a beginner’s bondage kit thanks to MyPleasure! It includes a nice, full set of beginner toys, including adorable ankle and wrist cuffs with tethers. They have heart rings, which reminds you that while what you’re doing may be hot and naughty, you’re doing it because you love your partner~ (Or at least have strong feelings of trust for them.) Plus there’s a pretty sweet looking blindfold, which I have not experimented with but now definitely want to.

There are a lot of different ways to enter, none of which require Facebook login! Hooray! Enter by clicking on the link above. Good luck!

(Image courtesy of lust-sex-love on Tumblr. Click on the image to visit!)

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until i saw you dancing // contest

Happy Wednesday! Hope everyone is having a good week so far. My three-month threshold is coming up so quickly!

Karen and SheVibe are giving away a Tantus Tsunami vibrator. Despite being not as aesthetically fancy as some other luxury toys, the Tsunami comes in three gorgeous colors with multi-shade variations: strawberry, purple haze, and midnight purple. (I, of course, want the strawberry one!) The Tsunami is made out of silicone and is therefore body-safe and waterproof! The removable bullet is likewise waterproof, and the toy is harness-compatible. The ripples look completely satisfying, and if you’ve been looking for a pliable dildo, this would probably do the trick!

As I’ve said before, Karen is a great reviewer. You can find her review for the Tsunami here.

There are multiple ways to enter, none of which are too hard to complete! The giveaway is being sponsored by SheVibe, which is a pretty fun place to shop with great prices on almost everything. (In some cases, the only place I’ve found the toy cheaper is on Amazon.) There are multiple ways to enter, none of which require Facebook! Thanks Karen!

Good luck!

but baby is that really what you want

And one more to round out the week! (Plus Tenga eggs are super cute and I have no use for them, BUT I WANT THEM ALL.) Tenga eggs, like many other of the most body-friendly toys on the market, are made from food grade silicone, which is the subject of today’s post.

A few weeks ago I posted a bit about cleaning different types of material toys. Today I’m going to post a little bit more about the different types of materials themselves, to better explain why I (and many others) choose more expensive silicone toys over jelly toys. Again, I’m sure many of you have this information, but the more this information is spread around, the better.

The biggest reason to stick to materials like silicone, glass, ceramic, or TPR are because of phthalates, or chemicals that are added to plastic. This is how “soft plastic” is soft – phthalates make them stretchy, squishy, and more durable. The problem with phthalates is that they make the material they’re included in porous. When it comes to sex toys, this means that you cannot clean that toy. Let me repeat that.

Cannot clean that toy.

Okay, yes, you could clean it, but as a practical matter I consider phthalate-containing toys uncleanable. Bacteria could remain in the pores of the material, thus being transmitted into you when you use it, and these toys also can’t be sterilized (if you share, against STDs/STIs).

Perhaps the worst part about phthalates is that they themselves have been found to cause harm to your body.

Most online retailers allow you to search for toys specifically eliminating any that contain phthalates. A good local sex store employee should also be able to answer your questions about phthalates; mine are quick to tell me right off the bat that a toy is body-safe by not containing any phthalates. Dangerous Lilly has a more extensive post on phthalates that includes details on how to use this search function on a number of online retailers.

Bottom line: I don’t use jelly toys and strongly urge you to be careful as well. Check the materials in a toy before you buy it, and if you can’t find materials, buy something else.

Now on to more pleasant things!

Some body-safe materials are a little harder to come by and are less common; these include ceramic, wood, and metal toys. They’re becoming more popular as more and more reviewers and users are looking for natural, renewable alternatives to plastic and silicone. Still, many of the most popular toys are glass and silicone.

Glass is easy, and easily one of my favorite toy materials. Glass toys are often gorgeous as well as pleasurable (giving me a double incentive to possess them all). Glass can be very intimidating; it’s hard, we’re naturally afraid of breaking it and sharp edges. But, if you’re careful and patient, glass toys can be immensely rewarding and I highly recommend them. For example, glass toys are compatible with all kinds of lubricant and often don’t require much lubrication at all because they are smooth with no drag. Dangerous Lilly has a very nice post on glass sex toys with a list of pros and cons and myths – there aren’t many cons!

Finally, silicone. As I said before, silicone-blends can be a problem and you should be aware of that. Technically a product only has to have 10% silicone in it for it to be labelled as silicone! Dangerous Lilly has a great post about different types of silicone and myths associated with them but here’s the Cliffnotes version:

TPR (and other silicone blends, like cybersilicone) are not pure, food or medical-grade silicone. This means that while they are latex and phthalate free (and therefore body-safe), they are still porous. A condom should be used with these to make life easy, and care should be taken when cleaning. These kinds of silicone will also melt when subjected to a flame test.

Food grade silicone is safe, as is medical grade silicone. This is the type of silicone used by manufacturers such as Tantus, Lelo, and FunFactory – in other words, as with many things in life, with some brands you are paying for what you get. You pay a little bit more for the safety of high quality, non-porous material.

Lilly has a lot of other great information on her site, including fun! videos of her putting toys to the flame test.

Which I loved.

Because I liked chem lab because we got to light matches.

Finally, Lilly has a great tip: if you are looking for the soft feel and sweet price of a jelly toy but with the safety of a silicone toy (which I cannot make you do, but would strongly suggest), check the Closeout category on Tantus’s website!

Thanks to Dangerous Lilly for all the information.

the stars come out // contest

Happy two-months to the blog! I’m pleasantly surprised I’ve been able to keep this up (:

I had hoped I would have something special in mind for today, but alas. Work and organizing myself around my “I’ve been out of grad school for a year hooray!” deadline has been keeping me busy. Instead, I’ll post about something super useful: cleaning sex toys. I realize that a lot of people have this information, but I know that some of my friends don’t and I think it’s important to share.

Cleaning toys starts with knowing about the different materials that manufacturers are using. There are tons of different materials, but there are some main ones that you are most likely to see.

The easiest ones to clean are hard materials, like glass, wood, ceramic, metal, and hard plastic. These are the easiest because they are non-porous (in a pretty obvious way) and can be washed like you would wash dishes. Glass toys can even be put in the top rack of a dishwasher. Most toys like this don’t have vibrators or other parts that you would need to be careful with. What you do need to be careful with is accidentally breaking a glass toy. Few glass toys will break if dropped, but they can crack or become chipped.

Silicone toys are also easy to clean. Silicone is non-porous, so you can wash them with soap and warm water or put them in the top rack of a dishwasher. What makes many silicone toys less easy to clean is that a number of vibrators are made with silicone – obviously, you don’t want to put that precious motor in the dishwasher! Soap and warm water will still work, as long as you are careful with the toy. Some toys are waterproof so they’re easy to clean; others have seams where the silicone meets a plastic handle or controls and these can make cleaning a bit more complicated. Just be careful!

Silicone-blend toys are, in my opinion, little bitches. Yes, they can be more durable than a pure silicone toy, but they can also be very misleading if you are not reading carefully. Silicone-blend toys can be porous, so they should be covered with a condom for ease. Condoms keep the toy clean and safe. Keep this in mind when looking at the materials list of toys.

Like the silicone-blend toys, jelly toys (or soft plastic toys) are porous and should be covered with a condom. These toys are usually nice and soft, but can’t really be cleaned effectively because they are porous, so a condom is the best way to go. Additionally, you can simply avoid jelly toys, but this is a matter of personal preference.

Antibacterial soap is generally sufficient. Dishwashing soap is easy and you probably have it around. Make sure that you wash thoroughly, let the soap sit for a few minutes, and then rinse well. Make sure that you rinse carefully! Let the toys air dry so they don’t get extra dirt or lint on them. It’s a good idea to wash your toy again before its next use as well.

In lieu of soap and water, antibacterial toy cleaners can also be used. They are safe for your toys (the kind that can be cleaned, of course) and eliminate the need for soap (if it’s not handy) and possibly water (for example, if you live in a dorm with shared bathrooms). Like lubricant, they come in small, discreet bottles and can be kept close by. Some can be wiped off with a clean towel!

Right now, Happy Buzz Reviews is giving away a small bottle of Renew Toy Cleanser from Good Vibrations. Renew Toy Cleanser is organic, so it’s not at all harmful to you or your toys. It does say it is lightly scented, but the ingredients list is short and it seems like it smells a little citrusy.

Head over to the link above to enter! Entering is pretty easy, though two of the entry types require Facebook login.

If you have more questions about sex toy materials or cleaning your sex toys, check out any of the major online sellers for more information.

just don’t want to stop // contest

And we’re back again! This time, I’m a little bit over my Hawai’i vacation and am looking forward to the next trip: Boston and New York! In my experience these are more sophisticated, dirtier, and faster cities than the relaxed, tropical island of Hawai’i.

Just the kind of place for this lovely glass toy from Pipedream’s Icicles line! Glass is a smooth, subtle material that can be used in so many different ways. This is a beautiful toy, not cute and sweet and fun like the Papaya Candy Stick. Glass is sexy and sophisticated and understated, even if this shape is nothing but in your face. The bulbous head, the swirled design, and the clit hook all promise a firm pressure pleasure. Moreover, glass is great for temperature play – just use some hot or cold water to get the desired effect.

The Icicles 16 also comes with a removable 10 function bullet vibrator to intensify and diversify your pleasure.

Luckily for us, Evil Poptart is giving away one of these as well! Visit Sleeping in the Wet Spot to enter. Many of the entries require your Facebook account, but a number can also be completed without it. The giveaway is being sponsored by Pink Cherry. Good luck!

dirty desire // contest

I’m back from Hawai’i! It was a little less vacation-y than I would have liked, but I did get to lie on the beach for awhile and tan (or burn, in the case of my cleavage. Whoops). I’ve been inspired by all the gorgeous flowers and delicious fruit I saw and ate there – there might even be a new line of jewelry in the making!

Which is why I’m so excited that Evil Poptart (what a cute name!) is giving away a Papaya Toys Candy Stick vibrator! Look at how adorable it is! There are two other colors (purple and lime green) that are also adorable, though nothing is as cute as a bright pink toy. The swirls will add a great deal of texture, and the toy offers multiple speeds of 3 different vibration patterns. It’s battery-powered, but I think I can live with that.

Just think how much fun this toy would be to take on an island vacation…~

Evil Poptart’s blog is cute and fun, with lots of pictures and funny anecdotes (the most recent is about the cat and its fondness for threesomes). The ads on the right hand side can be graphic and not discreet, but the content of the blog is still good. I like reading because not all the posts are product reviews; they are sprinkled in amidst actual posts.

So check it out! There are multiple ways to enter. Many require you to use your Facebook account, which is a bit of a downer for me, but others might have an easier time Liking stuff. The giveaway is being sponsored by TabuToys, which, among other things, has a great and sexy color scheme. There are still a few days to get your entries in, so go, go, go!

interstellar queen // contest

I had wanted to save this week’s post for TMI Tuesday, but it looks like there will just be multiple posts! Huzzah!

Karen is hosting a giveaway of the Bedroom Kandi Make Me Over vibrator. This looks like a cute vibrator, and I am all about cute toys. It is my self-created goal to own exclusively cute and/or pretty toys, and this one would fit in perfectly with my collection. Come on guys, it looks like a compact! How cute is that?! Not only is it adorable (as are, in fact, all the other vibrators in the Bedroom Kandi line), and pink!, but it’s also a great toy, according to Karen. You can read her full review here.

Karen is really a great reviewer, and I love her blog. She is absolutely no-holds-barred with information and detail, which is great for reviews, and sexy for her other posts. I’m a little intimidated by how awesome I think she is! I like knowing that she’s being really upfront with her readers. Her reviews are well written and professional, while also being comfortable and informative. She also has pretty similar tastes in toys to me, and she gets a lot of them, so hers is one of my go-to blogs for information and reviews.

There are multiple ways to enter, none of which are too hard to complete! The giveaway is being sponsored by Babeland, a great place to shop. Hop on over to the link above, and good luck!