Monthly Archives: May 2012
The holiday weekend threw me all off! Today definitely doesn’t feel like Tuesday… Worse, it feels like a Monday ): And I always have so much to do on Mondays.
This week’s TMI Tuesday questions are all about fantasies. (I typed “fantasy” at first, and then realized that might be misunderstood. No werewolves here.)
1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)?
*forced feminization is the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women, to make him submissive. For example: wearing lingerie, heels, make-up.
I suppose so. Why not? Unless he looks better in my lingerie than I do, in which case all bets are off and I reserve the right to sulk in the kitchen while eating an entire (small) carton of ice cream.
2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?
Not really. I rarely have aggressive/cruel dreams (or, more accurately, I rarely remember them, so it’s like not having them) and I control my fantasies, so it doesn’t bother me. I also know I tend to prefer aggressive sex anyway; my mind tends to wander and work quickly, so gentle, slow sex tends to give me too much leeway to get distracted.
3. Tell us your hottest filthiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less.
This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals, or are societal taboos.
Okay, I’m actually working pretty hard at this, and I can’t think of any that are “filthy,” nor can I think of any that are both “hot” and “never shared.” For example, I have fantasies that I never share, but they’re more relationship-centered than sex-centered, if that makes sense.
Well, TMI. I often fantasize about what it would be like to actually date my partner – like, introduce him to my parents, have him over for Thanksgiving, have him take me out for my birthday, go on vacation together, think about “the future,” that kind of stuff. That’s not really hot, and I only never share it because sharing it would mean I also have to admit to myself that deep down I already know that we’re never going to be that kind of couple, and all the rest is just me pretending. Which is depressing. TMI.
Er, actually, this isn’t “filthy,” but it is hot: I am incredibly turned on by situations involving power. One of my longest and most detailed fantasies involves me being a very willing and obliging secretary. Like. Incredibly obliging. With hotel rooms and maid costumes obliging. (Yes, I have an extremely strong attraction to men in suits. Hush. You know you do too.)
And one for the road: socially taboo? Visiting my partner at his school and having sex in the teacher restroom.
4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why?
c. Wonder Woman
HMMMM. If I had sex with Aquaman, would that also mean that I could breathe underwater? Because I think that would be pretty cool.
I imagine sex with Superman to be somewhat boring. I’m not sure why. Maybe because he’s a bit too much of a goody-goody for my tastes. But he has glasses, and glasses are sexy.
I’m going with Wonder Woman. She’s hot.
5. Knowing there’s a hot young couple in the adjoining hotel room, would you press your ear against the wall to hear the action on the other side?
Was that too enthusiastic? I’m just saying. I have a thing for hotel room sex as it is. It’d be like having free porn.
Clearly all of you should keep tabs on my travel plans.
6. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.
I’m not sure I really understand this question, but I would say that technology helps us explore our fantasies, learn more about our sexuality, and connect with other people. Technology gives us access to a wide range of stimuli, which helps develop our sexual tastes and preferences, and introduces us to new ideas with which to build fantasy. Which, to me, leads to a healthy sex life and positive feelings towards our sexuality and sexual fantasies. On a more practical level, technology gives us access to people and information. Pornography is easier to find and with less fear of judgement attached. Speaking from experience, I have Internet and phone sex frequently, far, far more frequently than I have actual physical sex (disappointing for me, but what are you gonna do). And then there’s always the hook-up category on Craigslist.
Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.
Happy, healthy, interesting
I don’t think I understood that question either.
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This week’s TMI Tuesday is all about opinions! Which I have many of! So many, in fact, that I really haven’t had time to give proper thought to which of them would be the best to mention here. Plus these questions are a bit difficult, since I don’t usually think about things I “somewhat agree” with. Why would you? That seems like a waste of time, when you could be thinking about things you “really” like.
Anyway, I digress.
In many polls, you are asked if you strongly agree, somewhat agree, neither agree nor disagree, somewhat disagree or strongly disagree with some proposition. Today, we go the other way. We supply the answer, you supply the question.
Oh! It’s like Jeopardy! Only with fewer clues and less of a chance that I’ll get them right!
1. Tell us something with which you strongly agree, or greatly like.
Isn’t it true that all people should be allowed to get married? or What is steak?
2. Tell us something with which you somewhat agree, or somewhat like.
Isn’t it true that Californians don’t get nice things because Californians refuse to pay taxes? or What are birthdays?
3. Tell us something to which you are indifferent, or have no opinion.
Don’t you think we need to change the way Washington works?! or What are yoga classes?
4. Tell us something with which you somewhat dislike or disagree with.
Shouldn’t the the academic institution reward professors with tenure? or What are people who hate children?
5. Tell us something with which you strongly disagree, or greatly dislike.
Don’t you agree that the best system of sexual education is abstinence-only education? or What are people who refuse to acknowledge the role that race, ethnicity, gender, socio-economic class, and sexual orientation affect society and our lived experiences?
Bonus: What is an opinion held by others that makes you angry?
Angry? Well… most extremely conservative social or political opinions make me angry, some of which I’ve already pointed out above. People who say that, “Sexism is dead” or “Race doesn’t matter” really make my blood boil. Sexism and racism are systemic and structural. People who say that anyone who isn’t heterosexual are morally wrong or shouldn’t have the same rights as heterosexual people make me want to punch someone. My friends who argue that everyone should abstain from sexual activity before marriage make me almost shake them – hard. Really, issues of political or social significance are the only things that can really make me angry.
Less than angry? People who think that The Hunger Games are the best thing ever. They’re basically working on the same premise as a Japanese franchise, only it was a better story in the Japanese version. And it was translated into English. Along the same line are people who think that the Harry Potter books were the divine’s gift to the world. Have you read the last one? It’s like reading really, really bad fanfiction. I’m really kind of a book snob when it comes to quality children’s literature.
It also annoys me that NBC fired Dan Harmon from Community and that SOMEONE and SOMEONE are apparently getting married in How I Met Your Mother.
(Image from Manujel Prlic on Pinterest. Click on the image to see all their pins!)
Happy Wednesday! Hope everyone is having a good week so far. My three-month threshold is coming up so quickly!
Karen and SheVibe are giving away a Tantus Tsunami vibrator. Despite being not as aesthetically fancy as some other luxury toys, the Tsunami comes in three gorgeous colors with multi-shade variations: strawberry, purple haze, and midnight purple. (I, of course, want the strawberry one!) The Tsunami is made out of silicone and is therefore body-safe and waterproof! The removable bullet is likewise waterproof, and the toy is harness-compatible. The ripples look completely satisfying, and if you’ve been looking for a pliable dildo, this would probably do the trick!
As I’ve said before, Karen is a great reviewer. You can find her review for the Tsunami here.
There are multiple ways to enter, none of which are too hard to complete! The giveaway is being sponsored by SheVibe, which is a pretty fun place to shop with great prices on almost everything. (In some cases, the only place I’ve found the toy cheaper is on Amazon.) There are multiple ways to enter, none of which require Facebook! Thanks Karen!
You are having dinner at the best restaurant you can imagine. Do not concern yourself with over-eating, or other restrictions. We want to know what you like best. What will you have for:
1. Before dinner wine, aperitif, or cocktail?
The usual: a Midori sour. As I age my genetic allergy to alcohol becomes more and more apparent; now I can barely drink a glass of wine during a meal. I had champagne at a Mother’s Day dinner and barely finished it. Midori and amaretto are about all I can handle these days, and only then when mixed with something else.
This is a fancy restaurant, right? So no mozzarella sticks… I guess I’ll have to go with either calamari or a baked brie.
Tomato or lobster bisque. Although to be fair I’m not much of a fan of soup, so I could probably do without this. I also don’t know many kinds of fancy soup.
One of those fancy “summer” salads with candied walnuts, dried fruit, mandarin oranges, avocado, grilled chicken, a citrus dressing, etc.
5. Wine or other beverage with dinner?
I’d probably have to stick to water. Soda doesn’t seem very fancy at all, and champagne and wine would probably just be wasted on me. If I’m not paying, I’ll take a glass of a nice cab sauv. And just one, thanks. No white wine for me.
Steak. Mmmmm steak. Maybe steak and lobster. Surf and turf!
7. Side Dishes?
Sweet potato, salad, green beans, grilled vegetables, homestyle potatoes. Now I’m just thinking about the dinner I had at Ruth’s Chris once.
Pecan pie, if we can swing it. If not, creme brulee or sorbet.
9. After dinner drink?
Maybe a coffee with some Bailey’s or amaretto, maybe a dessert wine. Or maybe just a lot of water, I’d probably need it after that meal.
10. Which 3 people would you invite to dinner: (must be famous, well-known, living or dead, not fictional)
– For sex appeal
Benedict Cumberbatch, Chris Evans, Matt Bomer, Katharine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart (take your pick)
– For great conversation
Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Joss Whedon (again, take your pick). Apparently I don’t know any dead people that were also good conversationalists.
– Because you detest them
… Why would I invite some famous person I detest to dinner? Ummmm… M. Night Shyamalan, so I could throw a glass of water in his face for The Last Airbender fiasco. I demand Asian actors in Asian roles, dammit!
Unfortunately, I’m not really a fancy and sophisticated person with nice tastes. My family didn’t have a lot of money while I was growing up so eating out at even a “regular” place was pretty special. Even for special occasions like weddings or graduations we were trying to feed too many people to have fancy food. We’re not really a fancy restaurant family; we’re more taco trucks and Chinese-food-is-only-good-when-the-health-department-hates-the-restaurant people. And trust me, you don’t make much money as a graduate student, not nearly enough to acquire fancy eating habits.
Bonus: Your lover brings you breakfast in bed. What’s on the tray?
I suppose he wouldn’t fit on the tray, would he?
Hmmm… fresh fruit (preferably honeydew or pineapple), eggs (scrambled, with onions and mushrooms), sausage (the fancy breakfast links), and hot chocolate. And orange juice.
And something sweet and sticky, because I know what I would want to lick up and where I want to lick it from after breakfast.
Finally, come play with me and my partner! (He’s still sick, and in no mind to answer questions, so I get more time to think of good ones.)
(Image from Saly de Bahia on Tumblr. Click to visit!)
And one more to round out the week! (Plus Tenga eggs are super cute and I have no use for them, BUT I WANT THEM ALL.) Tenga eggs, like many other of the most body-friendly toys on the market, are made from food grade silicone, which is the subject of today’s post.
A few weeks ago I posted a bit about cleaning different types of material toys. Today I’m going to post a little bit more about the different types of materials themselves, to better explain why I (and many others) choose more expensive silicone toys over jelly toys. Again, I’m sure many of you have this information, but the more this information is spread around, the better.
The biggest reason to stick to materials like silicone, glass, ceramic, or TPR are because of phthalates, or chemicals that are added to plastic. This is how “soft plastic” is soft – phthalates make them stretchy, squishy, and more durable. The problem with phthalates is that they make the material they’re included in porous. When it comes to sex toys, this means that you cannot clean that toy. Let me repeat that.
Cannot clean that toy.
Okay, yes, you could clean it, but as a practical matter I consider phthalate-containing toys uncleanable. Bacteria could remain in the pores of the material, thus being transmitted into you when you use it, and these toys also can’t be sterilized (if you share, against STDs/STIs).
Perhaps the worst part about phthalates is that they themselves have been found to cause harm to your body.
Most online retailers allow you to search for toys specifically eliminating any that contain phthalates. A good local sex store employee should also be able to answer your questions about phthalates; mine are quick to tell me right off the bat that a toy is body-safe by not containing any phthalates. Dangerous Lilly has a more extensive post on phthalates that includes details on how to use this search function on a number of online retailers.
Bottom line: I don’t use jelly toys and strongly urge you to be careful as well. Check the materials in a toy before you buy it, and if you can’t find materials, buy something else.
Now on to more pleasant things!
Some body-safe materials are a little harder to come by and are less common; these include ceramic, wood, and metal toys. They’re becoming more popular as more and more reviewers and users are looking for natural, renewable alternatives to plastic and silicone. Still, many of the most popular toys are glass and silicone.
Glass is easy, and easily one of my favorite toy materials. Glass toys are often gorgeous as well as pleasurable (giving me a double incentive to possess them all). Glass can be very intimidating; it’s hard, we’re naturally afraid of breaking it and sharp edges. But, if you’re careful and patient, glass toys can be immensely rewarding and I highly recommend them. For example, glass toys are compatible with all kinds of lubricant and often don’t require much lubrication at all because they are smooth with no drag. Dangerous Lilly has a very nice post on glass sex toys with a list of pros and cons and myths – there aren’t many cons!
Finally, silicone. As I said before, silicone-blends can be a problem and you should be aware of that. Technically a product only has to have 10% silicone in it for it to be labelled as silicone! Dangerous Lilly has a great post about different types of silicone and myths associated with them but here’s the Cliffnotes version:
TPR (and other silicone blends, like cybersilicone) are not pure, food or medical-grade silicone. This means that while they are latex and phthalate free (and therefore body-safe), they are still porous. A condom should be used with these to make life easy, and care should be taken when cleaning. These kinds of silicone will also melt when subjected to a flame test.
Food grade silicone is safe, as is medical grade silicone. This is the type of silicone used by manufacturers such as Tantus, Lelo, and FunFactory – in other words, as with many things in life, with some brands you are paying for what you get. You pay a little bit more for the safety of high quality, non-porous material.
Lilly has a lot of other great information on her site, including fun! videos of her putting toys to the flame test.
Which I loved.
Because I liked chem lab because we got to light matches.
Finally, Lilly has a great tip: if you are looking for the soft feel and sweet price of a jelly toy but with the safety of a silicone toy (which I cannot make you do, but would strongly suggest), check the Closeout category on Tantus’s website!
Thanks to Dangerous Lilly for all the information.
So excited! I love National Masturbation Month! I’m definitely getting myself at least one new toy to celebrate!
All of this week’s TMI Tuesday questions are about masturbating >:)
1. How often do you masturbate? On average over the course of a year, maybe twice a week. I go through swings in activity; sometimes I can go as often as five days a week, other times I can go almost two weeks. Just depends on how I feel, I guess.
2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month? Nothing, really ): Masturbating is not like, special in May. I will probably get at least one new toy to celebrate, but that’s not out of the ordinary either, now that I think about it.
3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. Not really, it’s boring.
d. No, it’s a turn off.
e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.
Hell yes A. (And a little bit of E.)
4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. No, it’s embarrassing.
d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.
D, but I really think we’d both prefer it if he got to join in before long anyway.
5. Mutual masturbation? Yea or Nay?
6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not?
Probably not. I’d rather not go by myself, plus I have a tango class on Sunday nights. I’m already excited because the dance class gets me out of having to go to an engagement party.
Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating?
My guess is that if I can go a week or more without masturbating, that’s a no.
Oh! And maybe help me out with this? Pretty please?
(Image originally posted by theclassyshit on Tumblr. Click on the image to go there!)
I’d meant to post late last week, but got busy and decided not to. I also am pretty sure that anything I wrote on the relationship subject that I wanted to talk about would just sound whiny, so I won’t go there just yet. Things aren’t “fixed” though, and I can’t just forget about them, which is probably why I feel so restless and irritable.
Additionally, I’ve been invited to a wedding in a few weeks, and I need some advice.
Anyway, today is Tuesday! So it’s time for this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.
1. Are you wearing any jewelry? What?
The Tiffany hearts necklace I got in New York a few years ago (that technically I shouldn’t be wearing because my skin destroys pure sterling silver), a cheap glass rhinestone ring from Forever 21 that I bought when I was Alice for Halloween (it’s a clear heart-shaped rhinestone), earrings that are shaped like hollow crescent moons with a rhinestone-studded star in the center, and a faux white leather and gunmetal chain bracelet with rhinestones.
2. What are you listening to now?
My iTunes, which is kept up in a very specific way that makes no sense to anyone but me. Right now it’s playing this song:
3. What is the last piece of entertainment media (i.e., cd, download, book, DVD) that you purchased? Do you recommend it?
Purchased? Hmmmm… I’m trying to go back over what I’ve bought recently. (I have a lot of things I’ve been reading/watching/listening to for the first time recently, but I bought most of them a long time ago.) I’d have to guess that it’s “Glad You Came” by The Wanted. And yes, I would recommend it. It’s a great dancing song – I dance to it while I do dishes all the time.
4. What kind of undergarments are you wearing right now? Care to post a photo?
Sexy red panties and a cute pink bra. Hang on, let me get my camera.
Sorry it’s a weird shot. Lying down was the best way to get a picture.
Not the best picture of my ass ever, but not the worst either.
5. What is your current mood?
Hungry. Is that a mood?
6. What is the best looking thing about you today?
Uhhhh… I have no makeup on, my hair isn’t brushed (it’s been air-drying since my shower), and I’m wearing pajama pants, so I’d have to go with my breasts.
7. Fill in the blank. Tonight I’m looking forward to _____________ .
The NCIS: LA half of the Hawai’i Five-0/NCIS: LA crossover episodes. Bonus points because yes, I know Alex O’Loughlin is out on issues related to injury, but how awesome is it that they can make the show still work without him?
Bonus: Tell me something good… anything you want to share. Just do it
I can’t think of anything really good. There’s not much good that I’m excited or particularly happy about.
I bought fun things at Victoria’s Secret yesterday. This is my new bra:
And I can’t actually find the other thing I bought on the website. Oh well! 😉
(Image posted by sexy-yetclassy on Tumblr. Click on the image to visit them!)