Monthly Archives: March 2012

when there’s no one else in sight // tmi tuesday #4

Sorry for the delay! Yesterday was spent out all day at the Polynesian Cultural Center – which, by the way, is a great place to visit if you’re ever in Hawai’i. This week’s TMI Tuesday is all about music! However, I have to note that I am not really all that into music, and that my tastes are very eclectic. I’m more inclined to turn my iPod on and turn this into one of those “random shuffle” memes. As it is all the answers will be taken from my iPod… because I can’t think of any other songs besides those.

Also, last year I bought an OhMiBod Freestyle and set up a playlist especially for it, put together by my partner. I’m strongly influenced by it. Like. Really. Not answering questions with those songs was a challenge.

Hmmm… this list does not adequately reflect my love of hip-hop/R&B.

Answer the following questions using only song titles. Make sure you link to the song or the song’s lyrics so that we can listen to or read the song.

1. What is your present state of mind?

Wish You Were Here – Incubus

2. How do you feel about your spouse, significant other, or someone you lust for?

Come on Closer – Jem

3. Describe your job.

That’s All – Genesis

4. What are you hungry for?

Sound of Your Voice – Barenaked Ladies

5. What’s your favorite color?

2 versions, for your enjoyment!

Kiss From a Rose – Angela Aki (1), Seal (2)

6. What gets you excited?

Moves Like Jagger – Maroon 5

7. Who do you think you are?

Fiction – Kajiura Yuki

Bonus: Describe your life. Feel free to elaborate on your song choice.

Shake It Out – Florence + the Machine

This is not really about my whole life (I think my whole life has been more “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” or “Jump” than anything else). But right now, at my age and my point in life, I find myself more and more oriented around love and relationships. I have wondered what this song is about ever since I first heard it last year. Is it about leaving behind a past because you are facing something new and better, or is it about realizing the present is holding you back from the future? Either way, it’s relevant to me. I just haven’t decided how I’m going to interpret it and apply it to my life. I think the general message of leaving failure and hurt behind is also a good reminder for me when it comes to other aspects of my life, such as work, academics, money, and friendship.

And it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back
And given half the chance
Would I take any of it back
It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone
It’s always darkest before the dawn

fallin’ in love again

Aloha! I’m in Hawai’i for the next week or so, and, despite the layer of sweat that seems to continuously cling to my skin, will do my best to enjoy myself (:

Today I want to return to briefly return to my first post about condoms. While it’s true that I have minimal experience with condoms, I’m at the same time no stranger to them. Trojan condoms, of course, are ubiquitous, and everyone knows about them and what they make. That being said, I’m positive that I’ve never used a Trojan condom. (Those weren’t the ones they gave out for free at Student Health.) And if I have, I certainly had nothing to do with it.

But even if I’ve never personally used a Trojan condom, Trojan has found a way into my life. I can’t for the life of me tell you why I know the brand, but I do. Maybe from TV, maybe from radio commercials or print advertisements. What I think is really cool is that with the Internet becoming a prevalent part of most people’s lives, Trojan has a new and really important way to connect with young people.

Just see Trojan’s YouTube page.

Some of the videos are advertisements along the sexy lines:

But a huge number of the others are informative and surprisingly intelligent. Many of them end with the slogan, “Evolve. Use a condom every time,” or convey a similar message.

For example, my favorite:

This video tells women that it’s okay to deny sex if it’s not going to be safe – and also reminds men that they should always be practicing safe sex, and that the whole “less of a man” line isn’t going to fly anymore. Without mentioning STDs or STIs and relying only on the trajectory of sexual pleasure, the video pushes the importance of safe sex.

(Plus it’s fun, and a little kinky, and now I want to try all of that on my partner.)

Some of them are both funny and more straightforward, like this one:

1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD?! That’s insane for a society of our size, level of education, and relative advancement. Give teenage girls a means to protect themselves, and the knowledge to do so! No teenage girl should have to suffer from an STD or STI from simple lack of knowledge.

And, guess what? Trojan gives you that knowledge in this totally awesome video:

I mean, maybe guys get lessons in how to put a condom on in sex ed (when and where you actually get sex ed) or from parents, but I definitely didn’t get any lessons in how to use a condom. I learned from the Internet. Which is where you learn the best stuff anyway. This video is a pretty solid introduction and is viewer-friendly, and I was really pleased to find this video on YouTube that is informative and encourages young people to be practice safe sex.

Finally, Trojan recently posted a video showing you around their facility and explaining how condoms are made! I’m really a hands-on learner and possessor of useless trivia, so I really enjoyed the video learning about the process that you really… don’t think about all the time!

1 million condoms a day?! Awesome!

Trojan makes more than condoms! Check out their new luxury toy line at EdenFantasys. They’re giving some away this week – tell them what you love about Trojan to enter!

(Image originally posted by justanotherdumbblonde on Tumblr. Click on the picture to visit! Thanks to the nifty YouTube search box for the videos. Thanks Trojan!)

and i won’t let her wait // tmi tuesday #3

31 Sexual Favors for her/him features 31 circular tokens promising a variety of sexual services that will leave your partner utterly satisfied. You could drop one in her purse or in his lunch as a hint of what’s to come later or to hint at what sexual delight you’d like to savor.

This TMI Tuesday let’s play our own 31 Sexual Favors. List 31 unique and exciting sexual activities or services you’d put on your very own tokens that are guaranteed to make you the favorite flavor of the week.

1. Send him naughty txts once an hour even while he’s at work.
2. Not send naughty txts all day.
3. Blowjob when he walks in the door after work.
4. Wait for him on your hands and knees in front of the door when he walks in from work.
5. Shop in Victoria’s Secret together.
6. He picks the new toy this month.
7. Cook whatever he wants for dinner.
8. Wear a sexy maid outfit to serve him said dinner in.
9. A long, full-body massage.
10. Blowjob in the shower.
11. Buy him a new tie. Then buy a second one for your left hand.
12. Makeout session on the couch fully clothed.
13. Snuggle on the couch with him and read.
14. You’ve been a bad girl and need a spanking.
15. Write him a love letter.
16. Wake-up time blowjob.
17. Give him a lapdance on the couch.
18. Sit in the back row of a movie theatre and sneak a long handjob in.
19. Suck his cock in the car.
20. Lick something sweet off him – wherever he wants.
21. Wear  a thong and a skirt and invite him to lunch.
22. Let him tie your hands behind your back, get down on your knees, and suck him off.
22. Show off your flexibility for him in a position of his choosing.
23. Let him record you two having sex – either audio or video.
24. Tie him up for once and ride him hard.
25. Send him a picture of your.
26. Let him watch you masturbate.
27. Watch him masturbate.
28. Join him for a quickie at lunch.
29. Take off those sexy black panties he likes so much and leave them for him somewhere.
30. Let him use force.
31. Let him come wherever he wants.

To be fair, not all of these things are… unusual. I kind of let him do 10, 30, and 31 regularly. And I do 1 all the time. But I’m sure he appreciates the list (:

(Image originally posted on justthetipoffeminism on Tumblr. Context is entirely different. I like it. I’m not sure they do. Click on the picture to visit them!)

just kiss me baby and tell me twice

Happy one month anniversary to me! Yes, it’s true, I’ve now been around on this blog for a whole month. Congratulations to me!

Since I just posted Friday and plan to post again tomorrow for TMI Tuesday, this celebratory post will be limited to some interesting links relevant to my interests and something I’ve already posted about.

First is an interview with Gary Trudeau, author and artist of Doonesbury, about abortion and sexual politics in his comic strip. Despite the criticism I know some people (even people you’d think would be supportive!), I’m rather refreshed to hear his take on issues and how it relates to what he writes. Yes, Gary Trudeau (along with other commentators such as Jon Stewart) is a man, but let’s face it: he commands a huge audience and following and is funny. I like reading his stuff, regardless of his gender/sex, because ideologically we’re similar and I appreciate satire.

Second is that Ben & Jerry’s has announced that it’s renaming one of its ice cream flavors in the UK to support same-sex marriage. Apple-y Ever After cartons, adorned with pictures of gay couples on wedding cakes, will join flavor Hubby Hubby to celebrate and support same-sex partnerships. And deliciousness.

Now that a month has passed I should be getting to my first full-length review sometime later next month. Not necessarily of the newest toys on the market, but one of my old favorites that I can keep falling back on 😉 Also stay tuned for tomorrow’s TMI Tuesday!

(Image originally posted by stairmastertoheaven on Tumblr. Click on the picture to go there!)

thinking ’bout us

I absolutely love lingerie. I can’t get enough of it. Recently I’ve preferred buying lingerie – which I have virtually no practical use for – to buying clothes of any kind. I discovered today that I own zero suit skirts. I have no idea how I’ve gotten by this long without one; I suspect that I’ve been wearing the same two pairs of dress slacks with my variety of blazers and vests. The point is: I need clothes, but I don’t buy them. Instead, I buy lingerie.

It really started as a joke in college. My first roommate and I agreed that we’d one day own a wardrobe of only sexy panties. For me this mainly means things with lace, frills, and unnecessary sparkles and/or bows. Cotton is really not sexy to me, though if it’s soft enough and a cute color then I do get a kick out of it for its presumed innocence. I’ve been slowly working towards this goal ever since, buying a few pairs here and there as I find them and fall in love with them. Of course, I should simultaneously be throwing out old and worn cotton underwear that has outlived its usefulness, but apparently some degree of frugality runs in my nature.

Plus there are just times when cotton undies are necessary.

I just love the way different fabrics and shapes feel against my skin. I like the way mesh is soft and makes my jeans and slacks fit more comfortably. I like the way lace leaves no seam-line so I can wear it under skirts. I like the way cheekies are just too cute, and the way that a bikini cut makes me feel sexy but covered. Satin-y fabric is slippery but gentle. Ruffles can bunch but they can also peek out for a certain someone to see. The variety is incredible.

But, in general, despite the now famous line about black underwear being meant to be seen, I mostly bought sexy underwear for myself. Even when I finally started buying cute bras (it took me until my sophomore year of college before I bought a bra that fit – I had previously been squeezing into A cups when in actuality I was a C) they were mostly for me. I liked the way they felt, I liked the way my breasts finally looked right and filled out certain cuts of shirts and dresses, I liked the way that I was finally comfortable. And I loved knowing that I was wearing a cute red bra or one with little bows or one with lace trim. It made me feel good, sexy, and confident. Which, considering that I had never quite had the “right” kind of body or shape, was saying a lot.

Years went buy, and finally I started thinking about what I wanted a potential partner to see. I bought my first lace bra (with a nude underlay, so it wasn’t totally useless) because I started seeing someone. It turned out to be a moot point, but from them on there was always an aspect of someone else seeing. What did I want them to see? And how much did I really care?

As it turns out, not that much. Even when I found myself single not long after, I bought my first babydoll. It was adorable and on sale, and surprisingly comfortable. I’d bought some slips and chemises before, but only a couple, and only because it was so damn hot in one of my dorm rooms. I could sleep in this babydoll. I loved it. And yes, I loved knowing that should I ever need to show it off (it hid some of the parts of me I hated the most well) it was there, but I liked just having it for myself.

I wore sexy lingerie whenever I needed to or just felt like it. Presentation days? Check. Test days? Check. Meetings with my thesis advisor? Check. (Suddenly I realize that sounds kind of… dirty.) Even just days when I woke up and felt kind of gross and low. The right pair of lacy underwear could really brighten my day. I’ve even worn some cute corsets out to regular, every day activities. Given the choice, I’d wear it all the time. It just wasn’t very practical to wear into the field on lab days. And I don’t do laundry enough to wear it on the days I stay home cleaning or lounging. (But wearing sexy underwear under a soft pair of pajama pants? Feels awesome.)

Sometimes when I was with guys I wondered if they even noticed. They were so anxious to get my clothes off me. They sometimes asked if I was going to take off my lingerie. Now that I think about it, I suppose I should have been flattered that they wanted to see me naked (I don’t even always want to see me naked). But I really wasn’t at the time. I felt so pretty and interesting with sequined babydolls and lace-trimmed slips. Why would they want to take that away from me?

Now that I have dedicated myself to one partner I find myself thinking more and more about what he would like. Because believe me, he loves lingerie. I used to buy things just because I liked them. I still do, but over Christmas I found myself debating between two babydoll/panty sets. One was much more flattering; the cups gave my breasts more support, and it was a dark color so it hid my problem areas better. The other was pale pink (I have a lot of pink lingerie – does everyone?) with rhinestones. It flattened my chest a bit, but what really convinced me was the panty. I just knew he’d love the ribbon bow at the back (he’s such a sweetie and thinks that my ass is great. He has yet to convince me of this, but he’s pretty on board with anything that allows him to stare openly at my backside), so I got it.

It’s not that now I buy things I don’t like. It’s just that now I always think about whether or not he will like it too. (Yeah, he really likes that black pair with the gold sequins.) For the first time I really have an audience to show off to, and I’m sure as hell not going to waste it.

Why do you wear lingerie? EdenFantasys wants to know! Their theme for the month is #sexyYOU, and answering that question on Twitter, Facebook, or in your blog earns you entries into their weekly contest. Visit their website to find all kinds of fun lingerie, from corsets to panties to garterbelts to costumes! My wishlist of lingerie is getting longer as we speak. And I cannot afford this habit!

i change shapes just to hide in this place // tmi tuesday #2

This week’s TMI Tuesday idea is brought to you by Mistress Gail who was inspired by the handy little app that allows you to add anything to your Amazon gift list–the universal wish list button.

Let your imaginations run free because we want to know what secret something or someone you’d add to your wishlist.

1. We all know and love a Top 10 list, who or what is number one on your wishlist?

Of the sexy variety?

Hmmm… to be honest I have never really thought about it this way. For example, I had never really thought about how attractive celebrities or even just random people are until very recently (that is a roundabout way of saying that I didn’t ever have celebrity “crushes” until very recently). While there are a lot of attractive people in the world, I can’t be sure that I’m really attracted to them because… well, I mean, it’s just so hard to tell! So I can only say that the “who” at the top of my wishlist is the very sweet, very adorable, and very handsome man that stole my heart ♥ (Okay, so maybe I just handed it over. It’s the same thing. Shut up.)

The “what” could be a whole slew of things, but since March is passing by slowly and I’m eager to get to April’s toy, I’m leaning towards a Jopen Vanity Vr2 or the Je Joue Uma. Or maybe something else! I don’t know!

2. Tell us 2 naughty things you’d put on your wishlist and 2 more naughty or nice things you’d add to the list.

Naughty: I’m leaning towards the Lelo Ina for May and the Leaf Life in June. Toys aside, I want a weekend in a nice hotel room with a king-sized bed and my partner lying next to me in it. Or on top of me. Or behind me. Or not even lying down. I’m pretty flexible in that regard.

Nice: A new job that pays well enough that I could manage my loans, a bit of travel, and an apartment of my own with a parking space. That’s asking a lot already. Another nice thing I would like is a date that isn’t the most painful and awkward part of my week.

Oh! I forgot that I want to go back to England! Damn!

3. Your order has been mixed up and instead of your selected gift you receive Fireman Sam (see What do you do?

Laugh hysterically and cry a little as a result. Then, unfortunately, I’d have to send him back ): I don’t really have room for him at home.

4. The miss-delivery is sorted and you get the right order. Because of the mix-up you’ve also received a free gift voucher for one of many new accessories available to enhance your new wishlist item. What do you choose?

Accessories? ACCESSORIES? I have never really wanted a toy with accessories! Does new lingerie count? I love new lingerie. It’s like, something sexy to wear while you test out your new toy! The fun never ends!

5. Your best friend arrives at your back door just as the courier (who is to die for) arrives at the front door with your accessory delivery. What do you do? (choose one)
a) usher your friend away because it’s ALL YOURS! and you can’t wait, let alone share
b) tell your friend to come inside with the intent to have them join in
c) what the heck, two’s company, four’s an orgy! (invite the courier in as well)

Why isn’t there an option where I just have the courier?

Actually, considering my list of best friends, A is the most likely option. It’s like a 3/4 chance that I definitely do not want that best friend to join in. There’s one person who could show up and I’d be on him so fast I’d probably forget all about my new toy. (He probably wouldn’t though.)

And yeah, I lied. I would never have the courage to invite the cute delivery guy in. Sad.

Bonus: Do you have a real wish list in the works? If yes, what’s on it?

I have several! One is for books and movies and things. One is for toys and lingerie. The last isn’t so much a wishlist as a set of things I am going to work towards over the next few years. It’s a bunch of things I hope will happen, but I have to work for them. Real wishlists can be shared with people (some people) so they’ll buy you stuff on it as a pleasant surprise for your birthday.

with the high heels on // tmi tuesday #1

Hooray! This is the first week I’ve had the patience to sit down on a Tuesday and answer the TMI Tuesday questions! This week all the questions are ones that have been asked before, so obviously they are all new to me! (And why there’s a picture from Casablanca. Quiet it made sense in my head.)

1. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening?

Yes, on multiple occasions. Sometimes it was with someone I was sleeping with and we just didn’t do anything. More often it was with someone I wanted to be having sex with and obviously wasn’t. I could explain more, but… Ah, well. I’d like to think that’s all in the past.

As a side note: One of my favorite things to experience is waking up with someone. It’s one of the most incredible feelings in the world.

2. When it comes to swinging or partner swapping, which would excite you more, watching or being watched?

Watching. I think. I’m already a bit of a voyeur (watching my partner is such a turn on) that watching my partner with someone else would be really exciting. Plus then afterward I could be all possessive and jealous and prove why I’m better.

3. Would you vote for a candidate caught in a sex scandal?

I really think it’s stupid that people wouldn’t. I understand it, I just don’t think a sex scandal has any bearing on their ability to perform the political, representative function of their office. Barring really bad sex scandals, like something involving minors, rape, or human trafficking, I don’t think a sex scandal is that big a deal, politically-speaking.

4. Do you masturbate to porn, and if so, what is your favorite genre?

No ): I have previously expressed a desire to watch porn with my partner as foreplay/a precursor to sex, but I don’t masturbate to it. Nor do I have the time to watch enough of it to have an idea about what genre I would like.

5. What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

Ooooo, this is hard. (It shouldn’t be, I’ve been on what I think people would consider to meet the minimum requirements of dates, and they’ve been bad.) 1) Try too hard to have sex with me. I hate that. When I am physically shying away from you, you should not keep pushing into my personal space. Just because I’m open about my sexuality does not give you license to lay claim to it. 2) Objectify me in weird ways. There’s a difference between telling me I’m pretty or sexy and saying what a hot Asian girl I am. The former is flattery and I will blush and act like a 15 year old. The latter will make me raise my eyebrows and stare at you in what I can only hope is a humorless glare. 3) Not be interesting. If you don’t make me laugh, and if we don’t have some kind of connection where I’m smiling and only feel awkward because I have that fluttery, butterflies-in-my-stomach-feeling because I want you to like me too, then you’re doing it wrong.

Is that 3 things? I need to go on more dates. More bad dates.

Bonus: Is your sex drive in park, neutral or over-drive. Explain.

Park. I go through phases depending on where I am in life. I am definitely not being driven by sex right now. Not that I don’t have any sexual desires (my partner can get me going pretty easily!), but I’m definitely not prioritizing or making them a central concern of my life. Maybe you’d consider that neutral? I’m not sure.

You, too, can play along! Just visit the TMI Tuesday blog, check out the week’s post/questions, and follow the instructions on the post! Have fun!

interstellar queen // contest

I had wanted to save this week’s post for TMI Tuesday, but it looks like there will just be multiple posts! Huzzah!

Karen is hosting a giveaway of the Bedroom Kandi Make Me Over vibrator. This looks like a cute vibrator, and I am all about cute toys. It is my self-created goal to own exclusively cute and/or pretty toys, and this one would fit in perfectly with my collection. Come on guys, it looks like a compact! How cute is that?! Not only is it adorable (as are, in fact, all the other vibrators in the Bedroom Kandi line), and pink!, but it’s also a great toy, according to Karen. You can read her full review here.

Karen is really a great reviewer, and I love her blog. She is absolutely no-holds-barred with information and detail, which is great for reviews, and sexy for her other posts. I’m a little intimidated by how awesome I think she is! I like knowing that she’s being really upfront with her readers. Her reviews are well written and professional, while also being comfortable and informative. She also has pretty similar tastes in toys to me, and she gets a lot of them, so hers is one of my go-to blogs for information and reviews.

There are multiple ways to enter, none of which are too hard to complete! The giveaway is being sponsored by Babeland, a great place to shop. Hop on over to the link above, and good luck!

i’m not your toy // rage #1

I had honestly and truly intended to blog about small, local toy stores and supporting them (which I did this week), but my musings and comments on them were superseded by, once again, politics.

Let me say now, for fear that everyone will think I actually like controversy, that I dislike politics immensely. I was a politics/political science major in college, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I am and always have been a strong believer in the representative and democratic system, and I believe I should vote and so should others and that we should be aware of the world. But, since politics is often divisive, I prefer to keep my politics to myself. For the most part. (There’s just no denying that I’m a liberal.)

However, Rush Limbaugh’s comments about Sandra Fluke have simply left me angry and speechless, and I think that it’s too much to be silent about. I think often about how my sexual behavior intersects with other aspects of my life, and this is just too much of an attack on women and our sexuality to sit quietly by. The short story is that Sandra Fluke, a law student at Georgetown University, was blocked from testifying before the Congress in support of employers providing birth control. When she was asked by Democrats to testify for them, Limbaugh called her a “slut” and a “prostitute” and said that if employers covered her birth control, she should post video of her having sex in exchange.

That is absolutely and undeniably wrong. That kind of behavior should not be tolerated by anyone, because it tells women and girls that they don’t have a right to their own body. Some man with money and power can tell them that they are only worth something if they are performing an act for his gratification. It’s so much more than misogynistic. It makes women feel unsafe. Not just because contraceptives are used by many women for reasons other than birth control, but because it means that a woman’s very body is not her own.

I know that Rush Limbaugh is just a stupid, crazy man who says things and I don’t need to take them seriously. But someone is. Someone is teaching a little girl that sex is wrong unless she’s willing to get pregnant. Someone is teaching her that asking for protection means that she’s a prostitute. Someone is teaching a little girl that controlling her body means that she should be performing sex acts for a man with money and a voice and that she should be silent.

The Democratic Senators have launched an online petition here. According to the Huffington Post, the petition has collected well over 100,000 signatures. Donate as well if you want, but at the very least stand with people who know how wrong it was for Rush Limbaugh to say what he did. Put politics aside and realize that even if it is political, it is also so much more than political. If not with the Democratic Senators, then sign ThinkProgress’s petition here.

I can’t even imagine how much this must be affecting Sandra Fluke. To be publicly attacked like that for speaking out about something you believe in – and because she wants to protect a friend with ovarian cysts. I had a cyst that ruptured when I was a senior in high school; I ended up in the emergency room for a whole night. Was the pain bearable? Well, I guess. I needed two doses of Morphine before I calmed down enough to sleep, and I waited 7 hours for that. The next day, it was gone. But the doctor said that they might come back, and the only way to prevent another emergency room visit was via birth control. From just one night, 17 hours, I can say that I hope no woman ever has to go through that every month. According to the Huffington Post, President Obama called Sandra Fluke and told her he supported her and that her parents should be proud.

It’s not just that this whole thing has ramifications for women’s sexuality and health. It’s has much wider implications. If a smart, well-educated, respected woman is attacked for presenting facts and a well-reasoned argument in support of a policy change, what kind of message does that send other women, young women, and girls? As if girls didn’t have enough pressure to be or act a certain way already. Stand up for what you believe in, and you get called a prostitute. Not that your argument is ill-reasoned, or that there are facts that contradict what you say. No, you’re a prostitute. You should be demeaned and humiliated.

We should be teaching girls – and boys, of course – that they should be confident and educated. They are smart. They can make good decisions if they are given the right tools. They should stand up for what they believe in. They are not lesser because they are women or because they want to have sex someday or because they want to protect their bodies. When you demean a woman in part for being intelligent and educated, or say that Girl Scouts “sexualize young girls” in an environment filled with “feminists, lesbians, or Communists,” you tell her that she does not deserve a voice. She does not deserve to be bright, educated, or confident in herself. And when this kind of message about gender is coupled with sexual orientation, race or ethnicity, ability status, or any other classification that adds other layers of discrimination?

I can only wish that I were as strong as Sandra Fluke.

(Image originally posted by sinfulbitch on Tumblr. Thanks to The Huffington Post for the article links.)